Chickenpox Party

At the age of 9 I moved to Pittsburgh, some of the parents in the town used to throw 'chicken pox parties'.

They'd get a whole bunch of us kids in a room together when one of us had an outbreak of pox so that the rest of us would get infected. After a week of suffering we were then rewarded with a lifetimes immunity and a 'chow' bar.

I always remember that moment when Francis Berchune, the girl who wore braces and big red glasses, turned round to my mother and sputtered..

'Say, Missusth Chopnowski!!' (my mother) 'I tooght chow barsthk werr ferr doggsth and puppiesth?!?!?'

All the parents slowly stopped their chattering and turned to Francis, quiet stillness and dread filled the room, some of us kids backed away and left Francis open in the centre of the room.

The parents moved suddenly and as a group, sweeping siliently to form a ring around the wretched girl. Some of the dads started hissing and spitting, flexing their fingers held high above their heads.

All the childers, except my cousin Boomer and I, ran out into the garden to hide in the potato patch. The parents lifted poor Francis up into the air, they began a game of toss ‘n’ catch with the girl who was now screaming the way 9 yr olds do, relentlessly and with acute terror.

Boomer and I agreed at this point that we could do worse than run, run and never look back till our feet bled.

But I can still hear that muffled bass voice that reverberated through the floorboards…

‘Round and round the money tree, now here our gift to Blanche'

We never saw Francis again after that, some of the guys say she got a pregnant and moved to Bartlesville, Okla.

I found her red glasses near a paper bag of party hats in the basement.

Spattered with dog saliva