The Dream

I now had the attention of the entire supermarket, the start/stop hum of till conveyer belts and the occasionally bleep married itself perfectly as a wasteland to my toothy smile.

'Now you listen?' I yelled, slowly nodding, my voice clacking off yellow strip lit tiled floors, rows of boxy colours.

‘Now you see, you’re not so smart..’ Pulling up my breeches, I was surprised to notice my accent had developed a slight German cadence at each sentences’ end.

‘Now perhaps, you’ll realise that I deserve some respect I think’

I gummed the words with my chin in my neck as I re-fastened my belt, and I noticed movement.

Before I realise what I was doing I had the child by the collar a clear two feet off the floor. It screamed and thrashed meekly as I called for the parent to come forward and claim him. To my absolute delight, no parent was forthcoming, I grinned as I passed before their shuffling feet and down turned eyes, running my finger along my front teeth.

I curled and flicked my tongue at an old woman in a duffle coat and tossed the child to the ground in front of her. She winced at the graceless way the child smacked the hard floor.

‘Kill him’ I announced

A commotion shot round the crowd, and she looked at me in disbelief, ‘wh..whh.. What???’

‘Ok old woman, then I kill you instead’

*Shick-Shack*

She buckled in two and was thrown into a rack of fondant fancies, the shotgun blast nearly split her in two. I took a deep breath of the gunpowder in the air and hushed everyone…

‘shu….

I awoke suddenly - Rushing into slicked back sunshine and a hot room

*whoump*

My god, I had been dreaming, I was in my bed with carol.. she was weeping… we were naked and…

‘I can’t believe you did that’, she sobbed

‘Did what?’, I replied anxiously

‘You fell asleep, whilst we were making love’

At this point, she broke down again, I put my arms around her and held her tight, ‘oh darling’ I breathed, ‘I’m so sorry’, I’m working so hard you see sweetheart, I’m just tired. I love you…’

As she calmed I put my head on her shoulders, and I knew..

A steaming pile of man shit